You wanna hear the good news about Tesla? Well, there isn’t any. Let’s talk about the circus that is Tesla in 2025, a show with more plot twists than a mobster’s family dinner.
Tesla’s numbers aren’t nice
Tesla’s Q1 revenue? Down 9% from last year, clocking in at $19.3 billion when Wall Street was dreaming of $21 billion.
Missed expectations, missed the mark, missed the bus, call it what you want. Net income? $409 million, which is an 80% dip from last quarter.
Honestly, that’s not even a dip, that’s a faceplant. Vehicle deliveries and production both took a hit, too, thanks, in part, to Model Y production line updates and a market that’s colder than a January in Jersey.
Q1 2025 Shareholder Update → https://t.co/sXBSeLibSL
Highlights
– Changed over production lines of the world's best-selling vehicle across 4 factories simultaneously – an industry first– It's also outpacing all past ramps (LFG)
– Model 3, Y & Cybertruck now drive… pic.twitter.com/xqO95tSHyd
— Tesla (@Tesla) April 22, 2025
Tesla’s stock? It’s been on a rollercoaster with a busted seatbelt. Shares are down over 40% for the year, but after Musk’s big announcement, they jumped nearly 5% in after-hours trading.
Investors are so desperate for good news, looks like they’ll take anything, even a promise.
Bitcoin is the one thing Musk won’t let go
Funny enough, through all this chaos, Tesla’s still clutching its Bitcoin like a lucky rabbit’s foot. They didn’t sell a single satoshi in Q1.
The stash sits at 11,509 Bitcoin, worth around $951 million at the end of the quarter, thanks to Bitcoin’s own price drop.
But with a little market magic, it’s bounced back above $1 billion this week. Tesla’s diamond hands are stronger than ever, even if everything else is slipping through their fingers.
From government efficiency to Tesla’s rescue
Elon Musk, part CEO, part political lightning rod, has been moonlighting as the Trump administration’s cost-cutting czar at the Department of Government Efficiency, the infamous DOGE.
It’s a gig that’s brought him more headaches than a double espresso at midnight. Protests, boycotts, vandalism, you name it, he’s seen it. But now Musk says he’s cutting back on his DOGE duties.
“Starting probably next month, May, my time allocation to DOGE will drop significantly. I’ll be allocating far more of my time to Tesla.”
Translation, less time fighting government waste, more time trying to keep Tesla from spinning out on black ice. There’s a silver lining, if you squint.
Tesla’s energy division is booming, up 67% in revenue year-over-year. But the core business, the cars?
Still stuck in traffic, with competition from China, an aging lineup, and Musk’s political drama dragging down the brand.
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